


It Is Not In The Stars To Hold Our Destiny But In Ourselves

by allineedisaquill



Category: Bill The Film
Genre: Acceptance, Friendship, Gen, Post-Canon, Self-Acceptance, Theatre, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Tudor Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 03:35:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11843148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allineedisaquill/pseuds/allineedisaquill
Summary: "Gabriel Montoya is the happiest she's ever been."A brief glimpse into our favourite trans Tudor lady's life beyond Bill the film.





	It Is Not In The Stars To Hold Our Destiny But In Ourselves

**Author's Note:**

> For my dear friend Owly who loves Gabriel Montoya more than anyone. I hope you enjoy this, I want to write more of her.

Preparing for another performance backstage, finishing her makeup and putting in her earrings, Gabriel Montoya is the happiest she’s ever been. There’s a friendly bustle around her as people read over scripts and hush their lines back and forth, the sound of people being seated beyond the curtain of the stage, and Bill is beside her slicking his hair back and adjusting his outfit in the mirror. The corners of her lips tug up and she fixes the curls framing her face and applies a light stain to her lips and cheeks. 

She’s never felt more comfortable in her own skin, confident and empowered; every time she steps before a crowd and gives her all, every time they applaud heartily, every time her fellow actors - especially Bill - compliment her work. She feels a sense of acceptance she’d never known was possible, wave after wave of euphoria washing over her from head to toe. The work and the people she got caught up with are long gone, replaced with friendships nursed over after-play drinks in The Quill and Rapier, laughter and merriment and quiet, understanding smiles. She’s respected, addressed accordingly, recognised within the safety of her new family. She’s a woman who’s found her place in this vast, confusing world. She’s home.

Initially she’d stayed with Bill and his family, instantly taking a liking to Anne who had adored her in return. Gabriel had made them a small breakfast many a morning, helped them clean, even told the children stories at night. They’d been smitten with her and spent almost all their time with her whenever they visited their father at the theatre, giggling and poking fun at him while he and Anne watched on in soft amusement. Gabriel still joins them for dinner sometimes, always happy to be around loving, genuine people.

Now she resides in a small house with three other people from the theatre - Nicholas, Jane, and Alice. They’ve become quite the little family, moving around each other effortlessly in the tiny space, respectful and friendly and wonderfully warm towards each other. Jane and Alice are lovers and the most generous, kind people Gabriel has ever known. Nicholas is quiet and sweet, a timid poet, and Gabriel is quite taken with him if she’s honest. They get on like a house on fire, staying up into the night while he reads his poetry and she tells him of her misadventures and mistakes. He’s a good listener, always watching her with gentle eyes and an encouraging smile.

Here and now though, surrounded by the smell of parchment paper and perfumes, she could stay forever. She smiles and runs her fingertips over the delicate lace of her dress and thinks back to a time when she never thought she’d be free, full of anguish and quiet suffering. Nobody had understood or cared enough to try, ready to mock and dismiss. It was all villainy and no validation and Gabriel couldn’t count how many tears she’d shed. At last, the shackles are off and her existence no longer feels like a battle. It feels like a dance with a tempo she can match and challenge, sometimes graceful and sometimes fast, but thrilling in the right ways that make her heart sing and her face hurt from smiling. She’s living, and well-deserved it is too.

“Gabriel?” Bill’s soft voice calls from beside her, and she turns her head. “How do I look? I always trust your judgement.” He’s nervous as always but beaming all the same, and his energy is tangible and infectious.

Standing, Gabriel smiles in kind and carefully tweaks his collar. “Dashing as always, Mr. Shakespeare,” she tells him with a curt nod of her head, ringlets bouncing. 

He seems relieved, smoothing his hands down his front. “Thank you. I must say, you’re looking quite radiant yourself. Are you ready for the play?” He looks around them, smiling to himself at everyone preparing themselves still.

Gabriel lets out a soft laugh and her smile lights up the space she occupies, a smile that could hang the moon and the stars. “I’m ready,” she says, “and…thank you.” In the tone of her voice, it’s obvious she means more than the simple compliment from one friend to another. She’s talking about the chance he’s given her, the open acceptance from the beginning. He’s largely responsible for the way she’s able to live her life now, and her words manage to convey every ounce of thanks she feels without actually saying it (not that she hasn’t a thousand times previous). Her eyes are glossy and grateful, and Bill’s turn mellow and compassionate in the way they always do.

“To reword, you set me free,” he tells her gently, placing a hand on her arm. “You have a very admirable heart, Gabriel, and you’re a fine actor.” His smile grows and he pats her arm before retreating it. “I’ll have no more of you thanking me. You belong here as much as anyone.”

His words are a force and Gabriel blinks away the moisture behind her eyes, brow creasing as she smiles and tries not to cry at the same time. Belonging is not a feeling she’s ever been familiar with until now, in the safe haven of the theatre and her small house with her closest friends. The playwrite before her is free and fair in the way he holds no judgement and an open heart where she is concerned, and she belongs. Finally, truly, completely.

“I feel you outsell me,” Gabriel jokes, but her voice is low and sweet-tempered. “I can’t ever thank you enough in truth, but I hope to repay you with my performances. I won’t let you down,” she vows sincerely. 

Bill tips his head forwards in agreement. “I know,” he replies, and with a twinkle in his eye and a final pat of her shoulder, he leaves her side to check in with her fellow actors and share a few fond words with Anne before they begin.

Gabriel takes a deep breath and turns back to face the mirror, admiring the woman she sees gazing back, eyes full of determination and contentment. She doesn’t think she’ll ever be used to the butterflies in her stomach or the tingle that spreads across her skin at the mixture of nervous anticipation and giddy excitement. Her friends join her and whisper words of solidarity and encouragement as they all take turn in squeezing each other’s hands.

There’s a beat before she hears the audience still and quieten, followed by the announcement of the play’s imminent beginning, and with pride in her step and a heart full of hope, it’s time for curtain up.


End file.
